gone too soon.

i'll keep reminding myself.

term break is over. school begin again. having new media design & italian currently. & what a great day to start. after new media design class ended, i stayed 1hr in school (watching edward scissorhands at the library) & then only got to know that italian class will only start on wed. hahaha great. an hour wasted. but good tho', cause i get to go off & have dinner with encik boyfriend before he sent me home. since i didnt have a proper breakfast nor lunch.

& she talked again with me today, i can't say how happy i am. since after the arguement we had the last 2 days. it was hard to get that stone cold attitude she gave me, i feel really bad. it was my fault partly i agree. as much as i miss the bond we always have, she talked to me again. simple gestures. it break my heart so bad that i broke hers. but family ties can never be broken, not for mother & daughter bond, when it is this strong. you can break anyone else heart easily but never your mother's. i know she miss having me spending alot of time with her. i know you well ibu. & i promised to myself & god that i will never hurt you in any other way imaginable. never.

you are the reason i stand tall & hold on.

when all it takes is.

i feel really bad for making you cry. i feel really bad about what i said. i didnt meant it. not one word. that night was the worst night of my life & one that i will regret, cause i never make you cry before. i dont know why im easily tempered these days. but i hope you know i don't meant what i've said. sorry is the hardest thing to say, especially to you. i'm not good at showing my real emotions. even tho' i so badly want to. i'm really not good at it. you might not know how much i need you in my life. cause i never be able show that real emotions i want to show, im not good at saying words i want to say or words you want to hear. after that night it hit me. im too lost, im off guard, off track.

i will change for you.

transform or forever terminated.

im so going to watch transformers2 again! & no not because of megan fox lol. she is hot tho'. but it is worth watching again. love the action throughout. i never was a fan of transformers, i never love watching movies involving robots & i didnt even know that there was such thing as transformers, but now i do, i love it!

mr tall, dark & handsome.

i was working full shift so i didnt get the news until my manager told me. my first reaction that the famous pop icon michael jackson had died, i thought it was another gossip. i really can't believe mj died at the age of 50 & to actually see the news of his death. even tho' i'm not a big fan of him, i love listening to some of his songs. my favourite is 'thriller'. no one have the moves he does! rest in peace mj.

i met a frog, i kiss him & he turn into a handsome prince.

i guess im addicted to playing PetSociety on fb.

i just bought a froggy suit for monkeyboy.

froggy mask cost $600.

froggy glove $100 each.

froggy shoes $200 a pair.

froggy bodysuit $200.

movie of the month.

transformer two. 17 of us altogether, this saturday. tickets are already booked!

p/s:

whereisthemeiamusedtogrowupwith? whereisthesmileiusedtohave? when my life made a choice & i lost my inner voice, i put on a face everyday now, sometimes a different one at times the same. there are days i felt like everyday i live a lie & i keep telling more lies to cover up my lies. oh yeah, life is great & for the sake of remembering the good old days. selamatharibapa.ayah.

f.r.i.e.n.d.s

khamis 18 june.

went to pulau belakang mati for a little gathering with my usual close buddies (a.k.a bandmates) joined by our boyfriend, girlfriends & a few of our other friends. enjoyed the outing since it has been years i went to sentosa. the sun, the sand & the sea was great! luckily i had mild sunburnt, while the others had quite a sunburnt lol, esp the guys. but we all had fun, with such outing, it will built our friendship stronger as time pass. awaiting for the next gathering/outing. *more photos on facebook.

sabtu 20 june.

many blessings to the newly weds aidah & azhar. got the chance to get to meet up with my ex ITE classmates, thankx to aidah for inviting us all to her wedding. finally we get a chance to see each other after years of silence lol. it's scary how fast time flies sometimes.

GSS

finally i get to do some shopping since it's the GSS, tak sah kalau tak shopping! need to get some tees & a pair of sandals. end up buying a load of whites! didnt spend over $100 since that was my budget, but if 'encik ayu candy lady' didnt say "that's enough of shopping?" i would not have stopped myself lol. well there is always next month!

let the time stop while we play.

finally all done with advertising campaign. glad that it have ended. & we did good for the final showdown within the one month given, better than nothing. like finally i can rest well now for 2 weeks. term break! then i have 2 more modules to wrap up before my SIP from 27th July to 16th Oct. working hours 10AM-5PM. internship pay $500 per mth. job scope, design & layout & project support. i'm excited, nervous, scared, worried all at the same time.

for now, i'm just going to enjoy this 2 weeks.

jamming session.

so unwritten agenda is back with jamming sessions. meet up yesterday to revive with the new song we going to cover by Green Day "The Last of the American Girls", & eventhough we were a bit rusted, we still got it! can't wait for the sentosa gath!

then & now.

& to khai always ride safe!

broken.

somethingsomething

Nothing is more dangerous than an idea when it is the only one you have.

- Emile Chartier

i am an intern.

now i'm relieved. very relieved indeed!

cause i won't have to worry about what company i will be getting to do for my SIP. this is because, i've got a place with a company called sketchworxs http://www.sketchworxs.com.sg thankx to chee an for telling me the company contact. called them up, got an interview at 11AM, got all excited cause my portfolio is all done & ready to be shown, dress up well, went for the interview, came on time, get a few min chat with the art director.....

she like my style of work but asked me to wait till next week for confirmation cause she need to discuss with the creative director (THE BOSS) whether to take me in cause currently they have 2 interns from lasalle but they will be ending their internship soon, so the company will need more interns. i wasn't putting any hopes up. so i said my thank you & went off, but right after i went off about 5mins, she called me & said "i don't think you need to wait for next week, we want to take you in." i was like OMG, i nail it on a first interview!

so i was pretty much excited the whole day, another load of my shoulder. phew. can't wait to begin my internship with them in July till Oct. & somehow hope i will do a very good & impressive job that they will want to keep me for freelance projects haha. i really can't wait!

they'll be back!

fresh.

have you ever have this feeling of a load off your shoulder? well i did yesterday, today & for more days to come. i use to think that i plan my life pretty much as it should be planned. how i want things to go, how i want succeed in what i want to do. but what if things take an unexpected turn? what if your life suddenly became something you didnt even imagine it would be in a few years to come? what will you do?

the most important advice i could give you is, stay strong, be patience & have faith. maybe we all do but how strong & patience are we & how strong is our faith? do we actually realised it? probably not always. but now i do. after what happened to me last year, all i can say is my life took a wild turn. a really wild spin! a turn which in a hundred years ahead i wouldn't imagine it to be like what it is now. a turn which i always pray before never to happen. but it did, maybe i don't know the reason behind it, what is god's plan but i do trust him that this is something better that he is giving. yesterday things got a lot better. & that's when i realised probably all this while god have been answering my prayers, it's not that i don't have that believe, but the believe i had before just got stronger. & i'm really thankful, i can't say how thankful i am. my faith just got stronger. this is where my life really begins.

we have moved to a better place, a new environment, a new life. & that's when i realised all the hardship we have faced this few mths is worth while. yesterday move was like the missing piece to a puzzle. & i had the best monday. life's a climb, but the view is great!