something to take note of.
a long entry. love this after i read it from ilyani FB note. so just gonna put up here to share.
From Ilayni FB note:
Blog-hopped earlier today and found that most of my friends and favourite bloggers been putting up entries about that holy subject called Marriage.. and also about that frowned-upon activity most men love -- Cheating.
Perhaps they too have watched the re-runs of Oprah (hah, Astro memang dah tak ada new show kot, asyik ulang2 setiap hari. Pini, TAKE NOTE! :P) and felt horrified by the fact that 1 out of 3 men cheat on their wives. If you think relationship/courting days is already hard work, well, marriage simply means harder work and more effort. Being married doesn't mean it is going to be all bed of roses with infinite rays of sunshine, darlings. It is about two entirely different persons living under the same roof, sharing lives, learning so many new and unknown things about each other, plus, having to cope with the predictability of unforeseen circumstances (such as kids, for instance!).
It seems like a trend nowadays that couples tend to focus more on the wedding day rather than the married life itself. More preparation goes into the celebration than the actual union which will be following closely afterward. People seem to be blinded in their realisation of 'dream wedding'. What they don't know is, realising a 'dream marriage' is way harder than that. When I was single, I had all the time, money and energy in the world for myself, and myself alone. But now being almost 2 years married, I can hardly find a "Me" time having to juggle so many things at once. I remember the days when all I ever ate was take-aways and Jusco's prepacked sushi. My evenings were spent at the gym almost on a daily basis. My weekends were filled with late night hangouts with friends and bapakikans (HA HA HA). That was all in the past. Now everything has flipped a complete 180 degrees. I am more of a homebody, who usually will stay at home doing endless house chores and also 3-times-a-day cooking for a very, very fussy eater. Who says marrying a chef is easy?
I had a very hard time trusting my husband. He, on the other hand, had a very hard time to be up-front, knowing how jealous I could be. It was a difficult learning process for both of us in the first year. In fact, this learning process still continues, will occur over time and hopefully matures as we go through different challenges together. So far, I am glad that I have never regretted seeing his face first thing in the morning. I am glad that I still find his ketiak and kentut so wangi. I have never regretted making that decision to spend the rest of my life with him. We made mistakes along the way, we surely will do some again, but we have learnt how to overcome issues TOGETHER. Selflessness plays a major role in any marriage. Someday, you may not feel like you are in love with your partner. But you have to make it work because it is a feeling that needs to be nurtured everyday.
If you can call your boyfriend diabetic names like Sayang, Honey, Baby prior to being married, why not address your husband the same? If you can smooch and display your affection publicly dengan beromen sesuka hati before it was even legal, why walk a distance from your partner after that? A very close friend of mine said she couldn't see herself tying the knot because it is almost impossible to imagine herself living with the SAME PERSON every single day. It gets boring, she said. Of course I told her, she's not ready to be attached just yet. We can't force this thing, it comes naturally - eventually. Hence the saying "Belum sampai jodoh". Having said that, to all mothers and makciks, please don't throw your children into 'forced' marriages. Stop asking them stupid questions (e.g Bila nak kawin? Mak nak cucu cepat. etc..) which might lead them into making spontaneous, unthought decision which will then lead to an unhappy married life which will end in divorce or worse, infidelity.
Because really, it is indeed hard work and it must work both ways. I am well-aware that it is still a long, long way to go for me and Iwan. So, good luck to myself and also to everyone who is getting married. Soon, or otherwise, it doesn't matter. :)
From Ilayni FB note:
Blog-hopped earlier today and found that most of my friends and favourite bloggers been putting up entries about that holy subject called Marriage.. and also about that frowned-upon activity most men love -- Cheating.
Perhaps they too have watched the re-runs of Oprah (hah, Astro memang dah tak ada new show kot, asyik ulang2 setiap hari. Pini, TAKE NOTE! :P) and felt horrified by the fact that 1 out of 3 men cheat on their wives. If you think relationship/courting days is already hard work, well, marriage simply means harder work and more effort. Being married doesn't mean it is going to be all bed of roses with infinite rays of sunshine, darlings. It is about two entirely different persons living under the same roof, sharing lives, learning so many new and unknown things about each other, plus, having to cope with the predictability of unforeseen circumstances (such as kids, for instance!).
It seems like a trend nowadays that couples tend to focus more on the wedding day rather than the married life itself. More preparation goes into the celebration than the actual union which will be following closely afterward. People seem to be blinded in their realisation of 'dream wedding'. What they don't know is, realising a 'dream marriage' is way harder than that. When I was single, I had all the time, money and energy in the world for myself, and myself alone. But now being almost 2 years married, I can hardly find a "Me" time having to juggle so many things at once. I remember the days when all I ever ate was take-aways and Jusco's prepacked sushi. My evenings were spent at the gym almost on a daily basis. My weekends were filled with late night hangouts with friends and bapakikans (HA HA HA). That was all in the past. Now everything has flipped a complete 180 degrees. I am more of a homebody, who usually will stay at home doing endless house chores and also 3-times-a-day cooking for a very, very fussy eater. Who says marrying a chef is easy?
I had a very hard time trusting my husband. He, on the other hand, had a very hard time to be up-front, knowing how jealous I could be. It was a difficult learning process for both of us in the first year. In fact, this learning process still continues, will occur over time and hopefully matures as we go through different challenges together. So far, I am glad that I have never regretted seeing his face first thing in the morning. I am glad that I still find his ketiak and kentut so wangi. I have never regretted making that decision to spend the rest of my life with him. We made mistakes along the way, we surely will do some again, but we have learnt how to overcome issues TOGETHER. Selflessness plays a major role in any marriage. Someday, you may not feel like you are in love with your partner. But you have to make it work because it is a feeling that needs to be nurtured everyday.
If you can call your boyfriend diabetic names like Sayang, Honey, Baby prior to being married, why not address your husband the same? If you can smooch and display your affection publicly dengan beromen sesuka hati before it was even legal, why walk a distance from your partner after that? A very close friend of mine said she couldn't see herself tying the knot because it is almost impossible to imagine herself living with the SAME PERSON every single day. It gets boring, she said. Of course I told her, she's not ready to be attached just yet. We can't force this thing, it comes naturally - eventually. Hence the saying "Belum sampai jodoh". Having said that, to all mothers and makciks, please don't throw your children into 'forced' marriages. Stop asking them stupid questions (e.g Bila nak kawin? Mak nak cucu cepat. etc..) which might lead them into making spontaneous, unthought decision which will then lead to an unhappy married life which will end in divorce or worse, infidelity.
Because really, it is indeed hard work and it must work both ways. I am well-aware that it is still a long, long way to go for me and Iwan. So, good luck to myself and also to everyone who is getting married. Soon, or otherwise, it doesn't matter. :)
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